Deathwank/Wheelchair Wheelchair Wheelchair Wheelchair
Your Scene Means Fuck All
Deathwank emerged from the grind cesspool last year as Scotland’s answer to Anal Cunt. Their songs were so ridiculously titled you couldn’t help but thinking they were perhaps aping them a little too closely, especially given that their songs struggled to even reach 30 seconds a time. Here, they play the title track, their only track, at precisely six minutes. It’s here they prove they can be more than pure imitators. It could well be the case that this is several songs rolled into one track, given the high number of time changes, stick clicks and paces on show, all nailed in one take. Whatever, its fucking genius. It’s insane. It’s sounds like the bloated offspring of Melt Banana and The Afternoon Gentlemen, getting bounced from wall to wall, with only the briefest of respites before getting submerged back into its torture cell with no true means of escape. Put simply, this is one of the grind highlights of the year so far.
Conversely, Wheelchair Wheelchair Wheelchair Wheelchair contribute tracks, and in comparison to last year’a fantastic ‘Contraception‘, is altogether more concerned with brevity than concept. This despite an intro and outro track, both sounding suspiciously like a TV theme tune in structure bookending their side of the split. It’s rampant and chaotic, only truly letting up with a truly phlegm-wretching snarl during ‘A Film That No One Ever Watches’, the only post-minute track they post.
It’s two very different approaches to grind, though the end product is still the same. If it were a boxing match, I’d perhaps hand it to Deathwank on this occasion, simply for breaking out of their micro-shackles in favour of a singular take rollercoaster of insanity. Still, ‘Your Scene Means Fuck All‘ is ridiculously great stuff all the way through, and has left me greatly anticipating each band’s next move, particularly the new Wheelchair x4 album, which promises a sexual concept. Nice.
Stream each side of ‘Your Scene Means Fuck All’ below:
I’m not going to review this EP properly because although it doesn’t contain me as a band member, it does contain fellow contributor Mike as well as my other Poison Dwarf bandmate Phil. They are now part of new band Wort, and play diabolical blackened sludge/doom metal. Completing the line-up is Sanhedrin drummer Sam, who I must say takes my place in this offshoot band and puts in one hell of a shift. Their debut EP ‘Worts N’All!‘ was released recently and I unashamedly can say it rules. Four tracks of face pummelling sludge channelling the usual suspects of Black Sabbath, Bongzilla, Electric Wizard, Dragged Into Sunlight, Grief, Eyehategod and more besides. If I didn’t have obvious bias I’d give it a full review – nonetheless, tracks like ‘KDK12’ and ‘Plumplestiltskib’ absolutely slam with all their misanthropic intensity – I personally love the whole thing and ain’t ashamed to state it right here.
For some reason, I feel compelled to devote time and energy to the subject of tribute bands – a niche of live music that really doesn’t normally interest me and has no relevance to me as it’s not a representation of incoming talent. With the greatest respect to these bands, as good as what they provide might be, I want to hear what the likes of Iron Witch and Zillah have got coming next, and not how good an impression of Phil Lynott a Thin Lizzy tribute act can do.
|TURBONEGRO: THE REAL THING|
Surely that’s a conundrum that most music fans that live in towns that bands don’t visit very often face. Do you save your money for the day your favourite band announces a tour within accessible reach? Or do you take a wild stab at that really similar sounding tribute act who play the area often? Who knows when Kiss will be back around town? The temptation to instead see Kiss Alive! Or Hotter Than Hell, for example, will always linger for those wanting a Kiss experience but not wanting to fork out the high prices the real Kiss charge. But again, I was lucky enough to see Kiss when they performed at Donington in 2008, an experience I will never, ever forget as long as I live. I even have the copy of the show on CD if I ever get reminiscent.
First of all I would like to highlight the predictability of this “review”, which can’t realistically be called a review, because that would imply it was an objective analysis. Attempting to write anything too derogatory about Black Sabbath might be compared to asking a devout Roman catholic to sodomize our good Pope Benedict XVI. This wouldn’t be a good example, because Black Sabbath are the creators, not an implement, secondly, I cannot vouch for the extent of sexual deviancy within the Catholic church.