I am Sworn to the Cake


If any of you are fans of both heavy metal and cupcakes, or if any of you have followed the links down the side of my page, you may have come across the phenomenon that is Metal Cakes, a metal-inspired cupcake recipe blog run by Kathy Bejma, who on average posts a new recipe roughlyvevery month, each based on a particular metal band, and has even served up batches of her cakes for the bands that inspired them!

I’ve always been a follower of the blog since I first came across it a couple of years back and always fancied a crack at one of them, but my cooking knowledge was so inept that even cracking an egg was beyond me. Having finally driven myself to learn how to cook and then cook pretty damn well, I decided it was finally time to handle one of Kathy’s recipes. I generally baulk at anything fruity or nutty or, like me, too fussy, so I plundered for one of the few centrally made up of chocolate – the Watain-inspired ‘Sworn to the Cake’.

As you can see, the results of my batch of buns/cupcakes aren’t quite as spectacular as Kathy’s, but they sure were tasty. This flour-less recipe using the finest cocoa widely available – in my case, Green & Black’s organic, due to a lack of unsweetened black cocoa in this country – makes for an interesting challenge but not necessarily one any harder than a floured one. My bun mixture, containing chocolate, double cream, five eggs (all cracked successfully), unsalted butter and caster sugar, turned out as expected, rose as expected and sunk as expected. It also made 22 buns as per the recipe. My only cock-up was the ganache – roughly 9oz of chocolate chips and around 8 fl oz of double cream were required, with crushed red M&M’s atop to represent ‘bloody mammal parts’. I ran out of chips – only 7oz – and my ganache wasn’t thick enough.




The afternoon afterwards I tried to remedy this with 2 oz of cooking chocolate (as the local supermarket had run out of chips) – however, the ganache seemed a little thick. My wife put in a bit of milk and stirred it up more, and ahead I went with spreading it.

While the presentation isn’t as great and the ganache doesn’t look as thick, they taste bloody amazing. If I must say so myself. The ganache is so rich, and the bun itself is extremely moist, thanks in part to no flour being present.

So if I had to score these buns out of 10, I’d happily say…7.5. They are by far the best buns/cupcakes I’ve ever made, and they’re still delicious three days later, but my presentation needs work. As does paying attention to the full recipe when making ganache in future.

The original recipe can be found here, and I recommend you try it. It’s bruuuuuutaaaaaallll. Here’s some Watain for you. Cheers Kathy for the inspiration and for your knowledge. You are metal!

Watain – Sworn to the Dark (live)

Peter Clegg

2 thoughts on “I am Sworn to the Cake

  1. Well I think they look great!
    I love that you call them “Buns.”
    “MetalBuns” actually sounds a lot cooler!

    Cheers to you as well for the positive review!
    Stay Brutal!

    • I was pretty lazy in my approach to cooking & baking until about a year or two ago. I’ve had to make the step up cos I’m a father of twins now! I’m generally happy with how they looked, I just lack the skill of using a pipe effectively for now, so it was spooned/spread on. I call them buns purely based on size – in my opinion a cupcake should look bigger, then again that could just be my personal spin on it. Metal Buns, ha ha, you might havevstarted something there!

      Thanks for your kind words, looking forward to seeing what you conjure next!

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