The Chisora-Haye Brawl – a musical analysis

[Credit for above picture unknown. Apologies]

Dereck ‘Del Boy’ Chisora probably wasn’t known to many people outside boxing circles before his clash with WBC Heavyweight Champion Vitali Klitchko a couple of weeks back. So its safe to say, this was a huge opportunity to make a name for himself. And that he did. For all the wrong reasons. Slapping Vitali at the weigh-in. Spitting water at Vitali’s world champion brother Wladimir. Trying to get at Vitali after the result was announced. All this, yet he’d possibly redeemed himself a little bit following a gallant performance in defeat to the elder Klitchko. Of course, that wasn’t the end of it. David Haye, former world heavyweight champion and somewhat tarnished by his defeat to Wladimir, which he infamously blamed on his little toe. Haye was at the post-fight press conference and heckled from the back, angling for a fight with Vitali. Chisora threw insults at Haye. Haye retorted back. Chisora got up and went eyeball to eyeball with Haye in the middle of the media scrum. The rest is now history.

 Above: The brawl that shamed boxing

At this point you may be asking, what has any of this got to do with this blog, or rock and metal music in general? Well…

Gorerotted – Only Tools and Corpses

(from ‘Only Tools and Corpses‘, Metal Blade, 2003)

OK, so now you may be wondering, really what has this got to do with boxing at all? Well you’d be right. The title track from UK goregrind/death metal nasties Gorerotted’s definitive opus hardly screams out as a boxing anthem a la Survivor’s ‘Eye of the Tiger’ or LL Cool J’s ‘Mama Said Knock You Out’, with it’s macabre and tongue-in-cheek lyrics about carving up the dead. That said, the song doesn’t half pack a punch and it doesn’t mess about in assimilating everything that stands before it.

Gorerotted – Only Tools and Corpses

Think about it symbolically instead. In Chisora and Haye, we have a couple of proverbial tools whose actions that night shamed the sport they love. The corpses in question are potentially Chisora’s career – though I expect his remorse will ensure he still has one – and almost certainly Haye’s legacy, which could have been something great but will instead now be something of a joke. Plus, this choice of song is more than ironic, given its obvious tealeafing of the classic TV series Only Fools and Horses’ opening theme tune drumbeat, and dear old Dereck’s love for the show (whose theme tune he normally walks to the ring to). Whatever happens, its certain that Chisora and Haye might have some wheeler-dealing of their own to if they’re to salvage anything from this mess.

Peter Clegg

Also in the series:

The trial of Conrad Murray – a musical analysis
The 2011 England Riots – a musical analysis

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